How Can You Sing It If You Can't Roll Your R's?

This whole thing about people singing the National Anthem in Spanish is getting ridiculous. Who could possibly condone such behavior? I think you'll find your answer here.

Kiss My Food

I often make food without a recipe. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. Tonight it did.

Tonight I did something that I do on occasion. I looked through my cupboard and try to pick stuff that I either have too much of or it's been sitting around (almost) too long. Tonight that led me to chickpeas and tuna fish.

I mashed up a half can of chickpeas with about a tablespoon of olive oil and about a teaspoon of white vinegar (for zing). I sprinkled in some garlic powder, onion, paprika, parsley and black pepper. I then mashed in a can of tuna and 2 or 3 tablespoons of mayo. Delicious.

Basically this is a combination of tuna and hummus. I call it Tuchis. I suggest eating Tuchis along with a tossed salad. I'll be bringing in my Tuchis tomorrow for lunch. I'm sure everyone will be jealous and wanting a bite of my Tuchis but only I'll get to eat it. Maybe I can manufacture my Tuchis in Mianus?

King Takes Bishop

I love this article with the Vatican officials getting all uppity that the Chinese Catholic church ordained a couple bishops without the Pope's permission.

"We are therefore faced with a grave violation of religious freedom," he said, adding that the Vatican "had thought and had hoped that such deplorable episodes belonged to the past."

Does he mean the distant past? Say, around the years 1100-1450 (plus or minus) during the Crusades? Or the more recent past, like the Vatican's apparent silence during the Holocaust? How about a little religious freedom from some old geezers that are a few thousand miles away?

Please Don't Pee On My Glasses

Yes, it's yet another bathroom story.

I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth (more on that in a second) and I see, in the bathroom mirror, one, then another, guy walk by. Since I don't hear stalls closing, I assume they're at the urinals (of which there are two). If you're trying to form a mental picture (and I hope you are not), the bathroom layout has the sinks and urinals on the same wall, with a partition between them. A few seconds later, a third guy walks by. Apparently heading to a urinal, he stops when he sees they are occupied, then looks at the sink (where I am) then at the garbage can. The look he had on his face told me everything. He was eyeing potential backups! Had I not been there that guy might have actually peed in the sink. That's the look he had on his face. He started doing a little circular pacing waiting for an opening.

Back to my teeth. The only reason I'm brushing at work is that I have an afternoon dental appointment. It's a warm day today so I didn't wear a jacket. That means I've got no place to keep my sunglasses (and still remember them when I leave) except on a lanyard around my neck. I bend down to spit. As I do, my glasses go swinging forward, perfectly timed for me to cover them with an effluent of toothpaste, saliva and maybe a remnant or two from lunch at Wendy's. Grrr. I rinse them off and grab the floss.

After flossing, I need to spit again and, you guessed it, suddenly I need to clean my glasses again. Now that's just plain stupid.

Actually, There Are Four Sides

This story about a female polygamist is only marginally interesting but I can't resist this part:

Defense lawyer Robert McClellan said, "There are two sides to every story." He declined further comment.

Feed Me, See More

People haven't threatened to kill me for not posting often enough...but it's getting close. Here's some ideas on painting a cool optical illusion indoors or out.

I'm Exploding With Joy

This also might explain why glad handing is so frequent among single men.

This post brought to you by my Islamic alter ego, Hoven Bin Layd.