Say What?

Here's the quote:

"She's got a wide esophogus and she works with it to increase that quantity."

Care to guess where it's from? Porn? Ooooh, so close. It was actually a description of the technique used by Sonya "The Black Widow" Thomas during the Spaghetti Bolognese round of the US Open of Competitive Eating.

They had 14 minutes to eat as much as possible (duh). How much do you think they ate? I don't want to ruin it for you but the record of 8+ lbs. fell. If you want to know by how much highlight this: Almost 14 pounds!

I recommend watching ony to those with a strong stomach!

Rice Maker, Rice Maker, Make Me Some Rice

For those looking for a rice maker, Amazon has the one I got on today's Friday Sale. (Hope those links work.)

Cows Hate DST

According to some senators, farmers complained that a two-month extension could adversely affect livestock[...]

Can't the cows just opt-out of DST, like Arizona does?

More Cleaning Crew News

This was pointed out to me by a co-worker some time ago but it has gotten to the point of ridiculousness now.
The cleaning crew will clean the closest bathroom twice a day. The first is just before lunch and only takes 15 minutes or so. The second now starts around 4pm, stretches on so long that the cleaning crew leave for dinner(!) and finally finish up at some unknown time because everyone has left the building by then. If the close bathroom is closed, there is one a few hundred feet down the hall, which is normally cleaned at the same time as the close one. The next bathroom is at the end of the hall, next to the parking lot. If you're going to walk that far, you might as well just go home. So "Thanks cleaning crew" for giving me an early start to my weekend.

Take THAT Chair Mover!

Here's an update on the previous post.

Yesterday, I disconnected the cable that allows the keyboard height to be adjusted and also shove wads of paper into the armrest adjustment levers (so they can't move). You want war? I'll give you war!

Who Moved My Chair?

This is ridiculoous. Two or three times a week, I arrive at my work hole to find:

• My keyboard height adjusted to maximum height
  
• My chair armrests adjusted to minimum height

This has been going on for a few weeks now, ever since a new cleaning crew started. After a week, I put up a sign that said

Por favor, no toque la silla ni el escritorio. Gracias.
Please do not adjust desk or chair. Thank you.

That worked for 2 days.

Next I tried moving my garbage cans out from under my desk thinking they were doing all the adjusting because the chair was "in the way" of emptying the garbage.

That worked for 3 days and this morning, desk at max, chair arms at min.

Personally, I think this is just management's way of getting people to work late. (I should note that managers have their chairs and desks safely locked away in their office.)

The Natives Are Getting Restless

It has been pointed out to me by an avid reader that it has now been a week without a new post. So here are the interesting things happening at the moment.

Last night was my monthly travel group meeting. In addition to myself and the two usual women there was a third woman there also. There was actually some talk of organizing a group trip. We'll see next month if anything comes of it.

Other things sucking up time are:

• CoH, where I recently made this character, just to see how ridiculous you could make a character. Notice that her breasts are the size of her head but she wears a veil out of modesty.
  
• and a little Sudoku (but only the Evil stuff).

Just Another Day

A co-worker was describing a problem they had been working on.

CW: [...]That's all fine until a link goes down on you.
me: Well, I've never had a link go down on me.
CW: What? You've never had your cable pulled?

And there was much laughter.

Denied

Yesterday, for the first time ever, I was deferred from giving blood. I've given somewhere between 8 and 9 gallons (yes, gallons!) over my lifetime and never been deferred. But yesterday my blood pressure was 86/54 and they won't take it if they get a reading below 90. She checked my other arm (although once she got the first reading it didn't matter) and I was able to get it up to 94/56 by thinking stressful thoughts (but that's hard when you're B-positive, get it?). Oh well, now I know for next time.

Sit Rover Sit, Bad Boy

This is the end of the line for Karl Rove. First, I expect them to try to weasel out of the whole mess but that that won't fly. Meanwhile, watch for Bush to distance himself from this whole fiasco. On the other side, the Democrats will wave this thing around like a stained blue dress for way too long.

No, No, No. You All Sound Perfectly Sane

*blink*blink*blink*

I can't decide if this is funny. Or stupid. Or so stupid it's funny.

And Speaking of E-Mail

I (and many others) received an e-mail this morning from the IT people.

Users on Exchange server [BLAHBLAH] are unable to access their email.

Followed by this one:

The problems with Exchange Server [BLAHBLAH] are now resolved.

Yes, we only hire the best and brightest here!

You Call That a Spam Filter

I received an e-mail this morning that cleverly got past the Yahoo! spam filters by using the subject line:

New Penis Enlargement Patches!

What will they think of next?