If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Wrong Way On A One Way Herbstreet

I've been having an argument with Herb Kirkstreet about who is the best tenor: Pavarotti, Domingo or Carreras?

We both agree that head-to-head, Pavarotti is better than Carreras, Carreras is better than Domingo and Domingo is better than Pavarotti. When forced to rank all three, I put them:

  1. Pavarotti
  2. Domingo
  3. Carreras
But Dirk Birdbeak disagrees. He insists that since Domingo is better than Pavarotti, Domingo must be rated higher. He says it "is only logical."

When I questioned whether Dork Nerdstink understood the meaning of the word "logical", he seemed to get upset. He stood and I saw something that looked like a rat running down his pant leg. He grabbed for the rat, which turned out to be a gun, and accidentally shot himself in the leg.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Hey! My Eyes Are Down Here!

Did I not post this yet? I must be losing it.

If you don't recognize the costume, it's Gir from Invader Zim.

Hey! I just noticed the tongue and zipper! Funny!

Thanks Zimbo!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Do You Want A Hummer From This Woman?

I have a low opinion of politicians. I assume they are all crooks, liars and/or pedophiles. Many don't seem too bright.

But Senator Barbara A. Mikulski from Maryland is currently topping my list in the "not too bright" category. Here's her plan.

Under Mikulski's plan, which she said she'll introduce in the Senate next week, consumers will be able to deduct the sales tax and the interest paid on a car loan, if a vehicle is purchased between today and Dec. 31. The tax break is available for cars priced under $49,500.
Sorry, I was temporarily blinded by the brilliance of the plan.
"It's simple, it's targeted, it's timely and it's temporary," Mikulski said.
It is idiotic and mainly will serve to move auto sales that were planned for early next year, into this year. It will also effectively move money from the wallets of people who don't buy a car in the next few weeks (or who don't qulaify for the tax break) to those that do. Finally, it will effectively undo 30 years of hard work for people trying to eliminate a certain stereotype of people of Polish decent.

If you voted for this woman, I urge you to punch yourself in the face. You certainly deserve it.

Monday, November 10, 2008

You Only Rent It

I just got my morning cup of water. The water fountain happens to be right next to the bathroom and I witnessed the following:

  • Man exits bathroom.
  • Man walks around corner and then waits for elevator.
Now, if you take the glass-half-full view, then it must be that the bathroom on the other floor is closed for cleaning.

The glass-half-empty view means I shouldn't visit the bathroom on this floor for at least an hour.

Maybe I'll pass on drinking my morning cup of water.

Friday, November 07, 2008

And A Lake Michigan Full Of Astroglide

I've got to apologize for a mistake I made at lunch the other day. I incorrectly referred to the Chicago Spire as have the shape of a "butt plug". That was wrong. I confused it with this building in London.
Here's an artist rendering of the Chicago Spire...
...which is clearly shaped like a butt screw, not a butt plug.

My bad!

Monday, November 03, 2008

Grease Was The Word


That was the last time we had a President, House and un-filibuster-able Senate all from the same party. Yes, those sure were the economic good old days.

I can remember my dad telling me how he bought gasoline for 36 cents a gallon while we waited in a line around the block to fill up the car. Only to drive away disappointed when they ran out.

Unemployment was down to 7% from the crazy 8% it was just a couple years before. My WIN button kept inflation at a tiny 8%. I'll look through my belongings and see if I can find it. I have a feeling I'm going to need it.