If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I'd Feel More Comfortable If The Gift Horse Had No Teeth

In a recent bout of cleaning I came across (maybe I should say "happened across") a coupon for "one bl*wjob, no strings attached". There is no expiration date but I have no interest in using it due to "chomp anxiety". I did try using it with a recent date but she said she didn't accept competitor's coupons. :-(

If anybody wants it, let me know. IANAL but it seems like an enforceable contract to me. The coupon has no cash value (wouldn't that be prostitution?).

Sunday, July 26, 2009

New York Weekend N+1, Where N Is Last Weekend

Yesterday I went to see a show in Central Park, somewhere around 72nd St. I thought I knew where it was going to be but after walking around the area for 20+ minutes with no success I thought "If only I had a device..." but alas my phone is sold old (HOW OLD IS IT?), it's so old it still has an extendable antenna! I'm so old and out of touch, I should probably just get a Jitterbug.

I happened past a Jazz trio playing (still in CP) and laid down on a rock to enjoy the music, promptly falling asleep. Amazingly I was not mugged or even killed.

On the walk back to my place I discovered the location of Jacques Torres on the UWS and weighed down the rest of my journey with 5.6 oz. of his confectionery genius, most of which made it home.

And now, I'm heading out to see, of all things, Chico DeBarge, Ginuwine and Joe.

I'm back. I can tell you the music was very good. I just listened from outside since I didn't want to walk to the end of the line to get in. (Frankly, I doubt people that were at the end at that time got in.) It was certainly clear that the target audience for this concert was not middle-age white guys but I did represent.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A Trend To The End

First came this commercial for Jack in the Box.

Now we have this one for Hardee's.

I'm guessing the next commercial will come from Wendy's. Shocker!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

NYC Weekend #2

Friday night: went on a date and then listened to the NY Philharmonic in Central Park. My dinner turned out to be the two beers and half an order of fries from the date (poor planning mixed with thunderstorms at the end of the concert).

Saturday: Morning run in Central Park (around 6 miles). There was some sort of running event being set up as I ran. As I approached the start line, I got to hear part of an argument between a guy wearing a security vest and a really big dude.

Security: This is a sanctioned event of the...
BFD (walking away): I can't hear you.
Security (louder): This is a sanction...
BFD (louder): I said I can't hear you.
Security (as loud as this little guy could yell): This is...

To give you a better idea of the situation, it was like a 2 year-old pulling a German Shepard's tail. "I can't hear you" is like "Grrrr" and "NA NA NA" is like "bark"/snap. The next time, you get bit. And then you cry to mommy. And she takes you to the hospital to have your hand sewed back on.

I don't know how it ended but I didn't hear any ambulances.

Decided to do a "taste-off" between H&H Bagels and Tal Bagels. However, service was so slow at Tal, I walked out bagel-less. Oh, and the H&H bagel? Worse than a Wegman's bagel and only twice the price! (Yes. $1.40 for one friggin' bagel.)

In the evening I went to see some "site specific dance" on a basketball court in Riverside Park. Uhm. You know how some art is accessible and some is not? Well, this was more of the latter. Like a Jackson Pollack, the question for me is where does the genius end and the crazy begin? Even still I'd say it was worth my time.

Sunday: Went to see a comedy show in Central Park. Mostly quite good. My favorite joke:

"I know this women in the biblical sense. And by that I mean I don't believe anything she says."
I think the joke works better if you replace "this woman" with "my CEO".

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

What A Feeling!

I don't know what this has to do with diversity but it sure fits the HoldTheMilk theme.

Thanks Zimbo!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Start Spreading The News

NYC Day 1 Observations.

Noise and specifically street noise. It takes a little getting used to. It must have taken me 15 minutes to fall asleep last night.

Somebody upwind of me smokes pot. A lot of pot.

Running in Central Park this morning was "ahh" inspiring.

I seem to be hungry all the time.

While I was waiting to buy my bus ticket, the woman in front of me had this conversation with the ticket agent.

woman: Well, hopefully I won't need the return part of this [ticket].
agent: Why is that?
woman: I'm trying to get on a show and if I do, I'll be famous.
agent: Really? What show?
woman: The Biggest Loser.

Sure enough, I just checked. Casting in NY is from 10-6 today. Good luck lady!

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

I Thought It Would Be A Happy Group Of Lions Parade

Last Sunday I was in NYC and it happened to be Gay Pride Parade day. I only watched for about an hour (missing much of the beginning and I have no idea how much after I left) but I took a few pictures.

The parade is for gays, lesbians, bisexuals, transgendered and supporters of all of these. Sometimes it can be difficult to figure out which ones are which. Like these Peruvians.

Or her?

But, lest you think I only took boob shots, I also took some fashion shots. Some fashions work like flower head and laundry lad(y):

Some are more extravagant.


Some are less flattering

Some don't work at all

Some are just disturbing (enlarge at your own risk!)

Then there were the religions. Here's where I draw the line. Homosexuality might not be a choice but religion certainly is! Here we have Baptists, Catholics and Orthodox Jews!

And I'll end how I began, with Peruvians.

Notice that their mascot is an Alpaca. Alpaca! Get it?