If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016


What will Sanders voters do? Ask a Democrat and the answer is that they will support Clinton because she is closer to him on the issues like support for the poor. Ask a Republican and you will get a different answer because Trump is the other non-establishment candidate.

Neither of these things matters much for a president. Foreign policy, Commander in chief and appointing judges. I'd say for foreign policy, Sanders and Trump look more similar (isolationist). For CiC, Sanders and Clinton look more similar (sane). The tie breaker should be judges but Sanders does not discuss the importance of the SCOTUS judges and recent rulings in the area of civil rights. If Clinton doesn't get him to speak about them, she may be screwed (unless that independent Republican runs).

Who could have seen this coming?

Apparently, a Republican running as an independent should be joining the race soon. If someone does, expect Trump to try to destroy then. He could even threaten (closer to the Election) to withdraw (using a Clinton presidency as leverage). That won't work.

Thursday, May 26, 2016

If only we knew someone with a lot of money

A man who claims to be worth $10,000,000,000 ages to debate the Democratic runner-up if someone else donates $10-$15 million. Huh?

Dance, Monkey, Dance

Trump vs. Sanders in a debate? OMG, I'd love to see that. And by "see it" I don't mean I'd watch it because I certainly would not. Nobody who has paid the least bit of attention to politics over the last few months has any need to see it. You (like I) already know what both of these guys' views are about important topics (or, you don't and you won't find out during this debate). So why do I want to see it?

It will prove that we no longer have any news organizations in the US. Everything is tabloid, TMZ, Gawker. The worst of the worst. And every *NN will give themselves a facial trying to cover this non-event. Perhaps the shame of this self-bukkake will wake them up.


Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Raise your hand if you want to replace Mullah Monsour

The other day, Trump gave one of those typical "I love guns, the Democrats want to take your guns" speeches and Clinton missed an opportunity.

She could have given a nice little sound-bite about how Trump doesn't think background checks are necessary. He wants felons to be able to buy guns. Spouse abusers can buy guns. The mentally disturbed can buy guns. Trump would then be stuck between a rock (the NRA) and a hard place (90% of Americans).

Between his idiotic statements and her incompetent campaign, I'm not sure if either of them want to win.

Tuesday, May 24, 2016

Simple: Just Don't Join Any

Every political group is composed of two types of people:

  • Those who would benefit from the policies the group expounds
  • Those who are too stupid too realize they won't

Idiocracy on the way

Does our future look something like this:

Francois Hollande: President Trump is risking the security of Western Democracy with his threats to pull out of NATO.

Trump: Horrible Hollande, or should I say, or-EE-blay, Horrible Hollande and the pacifist French, remember how they just laid down for the the Nazis? Remember that? Just laid right down like women. Not that I don't like women, especially when they're laying down. And the women love me. They love me. The flaccid French just laid down and if it wasn't for us they'd all be speaking German. All German. They wouldn't be saying Heil Hollande either, I guarantee you. If it wasn't for America, the greatest country in the world, they'd be German! You could say Auf Wiedersehen to or-EE-blay Hollande!

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

A-P-A-T-H-and-Y Find Out Why I Don't Give a Fly

I watch the Trump and Sanders rallies with a mixture of amazement and fear. I am amazed that so many people think this is so important. These people seem to think we are choosing the next Lincoln (Lincoln being the only President ever to do anything remotely resembling the level of change asked for by the Trump/Sanders zealots). They can't all be stupid or ignorant or naive, can they?

My fear stems from history. When I look back and I see the crowds cheering, the mania at fever pitch, I see the rise of the dictators. What's the difference between Sanders and Chavez? Between Trump and Putin or a whole host of self-interested, megalomaniacs?

How can anyone be so excited about anyone in this Presidential race? About any Presidential race or any elected office. Support whoever you want but please stop the idolatry. Some people desperately need a little apathy.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Perhaps AA Would be the Best Choice

Of the two people, which seems like the kind of person people would want to go have a drink with? Or, put another way, who seems like a more "regular" person?

Carter vs. Reagan
Reagan vs. Mondale
Bush vs. Dukakis
Bush vs. Clinton
Clinton vs. Dole
Gore vs. Bush
Bush vs. Kerry
McCain vs. Obama
Obama vs. Romney

In every case the clear answer won the Presidency.

Who currently seems like a drinking buddy in this election? Clinton or Trump? I'd say Trump but he doesn't drink. This, I think, is Clinton's biggest problem. A photo op of her out with some of her staff having a drink and laughing it up would probably go a long way toward her being the "regular" person candidate.

Monday, May 16, 2016

Penis Pump of Thrones

Two "news" stories making the rounds today: 

A woman heads to the hospital with a shark attached to her arm.
Someone in Boston got a penis transplant.

Do you see the common thread? It's Trump.

Trump is the candidate of twerking, penis-transplanted sharks going to the bathroom with your 14 year old daughter. He is the National Enquirer, The Weekly World News, The Globe and People magazine all rolled into one.Trump appeals to these people. They will likely vote overwhelmingly for him. Like they did for GWB.

If this were Game of Thrones, GWB would be Lord Robin Arryn, an simple-minded puupet. Trump would be Roose Bolton, an overconfident, unpredictable ass who is likely to be killed by his own child.

And who is Clinton? Perhaps Margaery Tyrell who seemed likable but ultimately was just using her spouse to gain power and looks to soon lost in the shuffle.

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

If Only Shinola Was a Choice

For my entire voting life, I have always had to choose between Presidential candidates I would rate as shitty and shittier. Mostly, I've chosen shitty but sometimes shittier based on whether I thought Congress would be R or D controlled. This election appears to be no different.

When I ask people who have professed support for Trump why they support him, I get answers like:

  • He's not beholden to anyone.
  • He's not part of the system.
  • He tells it straight.

Nobody tells me it's because he'll build a wall, block Muslims from coming to the country or make America great again! I assume those people exist but apparently I don't know any. The wall and the Muslim blockade are actually things he could get done with a Republican Congress. I don't even know what Make America Great Again means but if he starts with a wall and a blockade then I don't like the sound of it.

Trump has claimed he's worth something like $10B. And yet he is not funding his own campaign. He is lending his campaign money. Why? Is this his latest bankruptcy plan or is there some tax angle? Regardless, he's either fucking someone over or lying about not being beholden to anyone. Even if he pays off the loans he'll be beholden to someone worth $10B. How is that any different than taking money from Shel Adelson or some other rich donor? Do you think he'll make decisions that screw himself or his kids? Get real.

Trump is part of the system; he's just always been the other part. The part that gives money for access and influence. One of the few reasonable things Trump has said (which he walked back) was that if abortion was illegal then women who have abortions should be punished. The idea that women are the victims of the doctor (or whoever is) performing the abortion would be ludicrous and bullshit. Only the delusional could promulgate such a fantasy. Likewise, it doesn't matter if you are the donor or recipient, you are part of the same shitty, corrupt system.

Trump does not tell it straight on many things. He cherry picks. He repeats false stories that could easily be checked on snopes. If you think he tells it straight, you must have your head in the sand.

If you think Trump is anything other than a shitty candidate, you are either delusional or an idiot.

When I ask people who have professed support for Clinton why they support him, I get answers like:
  • A female President would be good for the country.
  • She has experience as First Lady, Senator and Secretary  of State.
The first is a reasonable opinion and the second is factually correct. Clinton is still a shitty candidate.

She is a true politician. She speaks out of both sides of her mouth. She switches her public stance on issues as befits the moment. She trades access and influence for money. She is everything that is wrong with politics.

If you think Clinton is anything other than a shitty candidate, you are either delusional or an idiot.

When November rolls around, these are likely to be your shitty choices. For me, I will as I usually do, hold my nose and vote against the shittier of the two.

Monday, May 02, 2016

Is This a Time for Optimism?

The potential for a President to benefit society is extremely limited. The potential for them to fuck it up is nearly limitless.