She Has A Nice Badinkadink

I don't understand how this Solo Triangle music CD isn't a joke. What am I missing?

Better Than A Bud Light From The Mini-Fridge

Thanks to Lianablog I now know my NPR name is Ejay Altenahr. (EE-jay AHL-ten-ahr)

As she explains:

You take your middle initial and insert it somewhere into your first name. Then you add on the smallest foreign town you’ve ever visited.

Actually, there are probably smaller towns I've visited but Altenahr (pop. ~1000) is small enough and sounds pretty good.

Thank you for tuning in. I'm Ejay Altenahr reporting from Bumf*ck, Egypt.

We Need a Post Office Version Of ELIZA

I want to send this certified. I need this to be in Florida by Friday. I need to be able to track this.

No matter what I asked for, the post office always knew what I meant...until today. Sure, sure, I am partly to blame. I asked for "proof of mailing" instead of "certificate of mailing" but any post officer worth their salt should know what I'm talking about.

PO: Do you want to send this certified?
me: No. I just want proof of mailing.
PO: If you want proof of receipt, you need to send it certified, return receipt.
me: I don't need to know they got it. I just need proof I sent it.
PO: Do you want to send it priority?
me: I just want to send it First Class.
PO: Do you want a certificate or a receipt?
me: What's the difference?
PO: The certificate is $1.10 and has the address. The receipt has only the city and state you mailed to.

Ah, here's where I made my error. I did want the certificate. But the $1.10 through me off. My Asperger-y brain thought $1.10 was the charge for certified mail (and it probably was back in 1992) and so I said:

me: Just the receipt.
PO: That'll be $0.76

And then I knew I f*cked up but certainly I was not going to admit that! That'd be like asking for directions at a gas station.

So, I'll save my useless receipt and wait for my check to be cashed. And dream of inventing a gadget that would do for the post office what the GPS did for gas stations.