Prostitution is not a crime if you use the Trump hole

I, _________, the undersigned ("pro"), hereby agree not to talk, write, use ASL, or any other means to disclose to anyone or anything any details of my relationship (whether it be the usual 3-13 minutes or any other length of time) with ___________, the other undersigned ("John"). For this nondisclosure "John" will give "pro" the sum of $____.  This sum is exchanged solely for nondisclosure purposes and NOT for performance of any "acts" taking place during relationship, no matter how brief.