White Girl Rapes Black Man

Non-news event of the day: Clinton wins PA! Who saw that coming?????

While waiting for polls to close so they could announce this, I got to see some of the worst and most ridiculous crap that was being passed off as news ever.

Foremost was Jack Cafferty making the incorrect and self-unsupporting statement along the lines of "the current administration has run up more debt than all previous administrations combined; the debt was 5 trillion when Bush entered office and it's 9 trillion now." C'mon! That's first grade math.

Then there's all the "analysis" (emphasis on "anal") which is by Clinton and Obama supporters who continuously ignore all facts to plug the message du jour.

But maybe my favorite is people talking about the delegates and whether the super-delegates will thwart the will of the people. What the f*ck are they talking about? If you are a Democrat, do you not understand how they pick their Presidential nominee? I assume that a Democrat is either willing to live with the rules as they are or an idiot.

Last, here's my prediction. Obama wins the nomination, makes nicey-nice with Clinton and the Dems end up with "the Dream Ticket" Obama/Clinton which appeals to both blacks and women.

McCain then pick Condoleeza Rice as running mate and the Republicans win in November and I have to listen to Alan complain about McCain for the next 4 years.

That's How We Roll

Another video? So soon?

You betcha! This one is from my college days. It's not long so I didn't bother editing it down. Enjoy!

Pair It With Scrapple!

If someone can help me find a can of this, I will gladly consume and regurgitate it and write a big long post about it for your amusement.
If you're having trouble reading it, it's a combination of Budweiser beer, Clamato (itself a combination of tomato and clam juice), salt and lime.

Dumb And Plumber

This was originally 34 minutes long. Now a more merciful 8+ minutes. I'm thinking about doing a director's commentary version but, frankly, I'm a bit tired of working on this already.

You might need headphones to hear some of the goings on.

How Big Would The Gouge Be If The Spring Hit The Turkey?

I was talking to a friend yesterday whe a turkey strolled by. Unfortunately, it did not hang around long enough for me to get a picture.

I got another chance and shot that turkey. A little blurry but he/she didn't seem to want to hang around.
I figured that would be the most exciting part of my day. I figured wrong.

I was in the kitchen making cookies (oatmeal coconut chocolate chip, damn their good). Suddenly I heard a loud crash and felt the floor move. I immediately looked out the the window expecting to see my neighbor with their car smashed into their garage. No such luck.

My next guess was that one of my stacks o' crap in the garage had fallen (I did not for second think it was my DVD, amp, TiVo, DVD, LCD stack and it wasn't). Nothing seemed out of the ordinary in the garage until I noticed this.

The counter-balance spring on the garage had snapped. After breaking it shot itself into the wall, making a nice gouge, as seen here.

Apocryphal Chinese curse:

May you live in interesting times.

Jay's Corollary:

May you live in this %#!* apartment.

Why Obama Can't Win In November

I've gotten a lot of stuff the last couple days via UPS, DHL and USPS. So, I wasn't too surprised when, moments ago, my doorbell rang and it was the UPS guy holding a package.

He needed a signature so he shoved that little tablet at me. I was trying to think what else I was expecting when he said, "This is 1322, right?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Oh, wait, I need 1232. A guy named Seequa." [I'm guessing at that spelling.]

And off he went. Was that discrimination? Profiling?

If he was looking for "Jay", who has to answer the door for him to re-check the address?

Deer-licious

This little lady came to visit me right around lunch time.


Don't mistake those for woods. That's just a few pine trees in the backyard. I predict "car vs. deer" in her future.