Dance, Monkey, Dance

Trump vs. Sanders in a debate? OMG, I'd love to see that. And by "see it" I don't mean I'd watch it because I certainly would not. Nobody who has paid the least bit of attention to politics over the last few months has any need to see it. You (like I) already know what both of these guys' views are about important topics (or, you don't and you won't find out during this debate). So why do I want to see it?

It will prove that we no longer have any news organizations in the US. Everything is tabloid, TMZ, Gawker. The worst of the worst. And every *NN will give themselves a facial trying to cover this non-event. Perhaps the shame of this self-bukkake will wake them up.

Nah.

Raise your hand if you want to replace Mullah Monsour

The other day, Trump gave one of those typical "I love guns, the Democrats want to take your guns" speeches and Clinton missed an opportunity.

She could have given a nice little sound-bite about how Trump doesn't think background checks are necessary. He wants felons to be able to buy guns. Spouse abusers can buy guns. The mentally disturbed can buy guns. Trump would then be stuck between a rock (the NRA) and a hard place (90% of Americans).

Between his idiotic statements and her incompetent campaign, I'm not sure if either of them want to win.

Simple: Just Don't Join Any

Every political group is composed of two types of people:

• Those who would benefit from the policies the group expounds
• Those who are too stupid too realize they won't

Idiocracy on the way

Does our future look something like this:

Francois Hollande: President Trump is risking the security of Western Democracy with his threats to pull out of NATO.

Trump: Horrible Hollande, or should I say, or-EE-blay, Horrible Hollande and the pacifist French, remember how they just laid down for the the Nazis? Remember that? Just laid right down like women. Not that I don't like women, especially when they're laying down. And the women love me. They love me. The flaccid French just laid down and if it wasn't for us they'd all be speaking German. All German. They wouldn't be saying Heil Hollande either, I guarantee you. If it wasn't for America, the greatest country in the world, they'd be German! You could say Auf Wiedersehen to or-EE-blay Hollande!

A-P-A-T-H-and-Y Find Out Why I Don't Give a Fly

I watch the Trump and Sanders rallies with a mixture of amazement and fear. I am amazed that so many people think this is so important. These people seem to think we are choosing the next Lincoln (Lincoln being the only President ever to do anything remotely resembling the level of change asked for by the Trump/Sanders zealots). They can't all be stupid or ignorant or naive, can they?

My fear stems from history. When I look back and I see the crowds cheering, the mania at fever pitch, I see the rise of the dictators. What's the difference between Sanders and Chavez? Between Trump and Putin or a whole host of self-interested, megalomaniacs?

How can anyone be so excited about anyone in this Presidential race? About any Presidential race or any elected office. Support whoever you want but please stop the idolatry. Some people desperately need a little apathy.

Perhaps AA Would be the Best Choice

Of the two people, which seems like the kind of person people would want to go have a drink with? Or, put another way, who seems like a more "regular" person?

Carter vs. Reagan
Reagan vs. Mondale
Bush vs. Dukakis
Bush vs. Clinton
Clinton vs. Dole
Gore vs. Bush
Bush vs. Kerry
McCain vs. Obama
Obama vs. Romney

In every case the clear answer won the Presidency.

Who currently seems like a drinking buddy in this election? Clinton or Trump? I'd say Trump but he doesn't drink. This, I think, is Clinton's biggest problem. A photo op of her out with some of her staff having a drink and laughing it up would probably go a long way toward her being the "regular" person candidate.

Penis Pump of Thrones

Two "news" stories making the rounds today: 

A woman heads to the hospital with a shark attached to her arm.

Someone in Boston got a penis transplant.

Do you see the common thread? It's Trump.

Trump is the candidate of twerking, penis-transplanted sharks going to the bathroom with your 14 year old daughter. He is the National Enquirer, The Weekly World News, The Globe and People magazine all rolled into one.Trump appeals to these people. They will likely vote overwhelmingly for him. Like they did for GWB.

If this were Game of Thrones, GWB would be Lord Robin Arryn, an simple-minded puupet. Trump would be Roose Bolton, an overconfident, unpredictable ass who is likely to be killed by his own child.

And who is Clinton? Perhaps Margaery Tyrell who seemed likable but ultimately was just using her spouse to gain power and looks to soon lost in the shuffle.