If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Next Time, She'll Re-Fuse To Leave

It's tough for a humor blog to compete with the news these days. Sigh. Enough to drive a man to drink. Here's my latest recipe:

Mix one part very powerful whiner with one or two (maybe three) parts of 22 year old Sprite. Add some wife bitters and serve to public. I call this cock tale an Eliot Spritzer.

No? OK, how about a news story about a woman who would drive Chef crazy.

A 35-year-old woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for so long that her body was stuck to the seat had a phobia about leaving the bathroom
The police officer in charge of the "woman stuck to toilet seat" investigation? Officer Mr. Whipple!
They had conversations and had an otherwise normal relationship -- except it all happened in the bathroom.
[Those of you that know me, insert the joke you know I would make here.]

When asked why he hadn't reported the situation for two years, her boyfriend, Kory McFarren said, "Don't worry, be happy!"

From the movie (I swear) Cocktail
Here's a little song I wrote
You might sing it note-for-note
Don't worry, be happy
If you're an elected official
You're sex life getting a little dull
Don't worry, be happy
Everyday you gotta wear a suit
Stay away from the prostitute
Don't worry, be happy
Girlfriend stuck to a toilet seat
Freezer full of parakeets
Don't worry, be happy

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