onna da bright side, nowe yoo can git into heaven

Here's my previous post dumbed-down using Unintelligencer (set to "moron"). Too bad they don't have the reverse function.

WWJCD? AX URSLEF TAHT QUESTION AN TAHN DO OPPOSITE.

JC HERE STANDZ FOR JIM CRAMER (WHO HAZ BIN UNFAVORABLY COMPARED TEW MONKEY BUT DA SITE SEEMZ0RZ MESSED UPP ZO I WON'T BOTHER LINKING IT) WHO GAVE DIS BRILLIANT ADVISE A WEEK AGO, 3/11/08.

JSTU IN CASE YALL HAVEN'T HEARED, 8EAR STEARNS AGREED TO B BOUGHT AT $2/SHARE TIHS PAST WEEKEND. IFFN JOO LISTENED TO JC, U LOST $65/SHARE IN LEZZ THAN A WEEK.

OF COURSE, JC WOULD TELLS YUO THAT IF YTOU LISTENED TO HIM, YOU WOULD HAVE A NICE, DIVERSIFIED PORTFOLIO TO HEDGE AGAINST ANY BIG LOOSER (OAR WINNER BUT HE WON'T SAY THAT). TJE QUESTION ARE: IF YOU ARE LISTENING TO SOMEONE'S STOCK PICKING ADVICE, WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU WANT OR ENED DIVERSITY?! IF HE (OR HER) IS NAWT TELLING YOU SURE WINNERS, WHY THGE F*** ARE YOU LISTENING TO THEM?

YOU'D BE BETTOR OFF PLAYING WIF YOUR OWN MONKEY.