It's Almost Like I'll Be On TV

In the "It's a Small World" category, I went to someone's surprise birthday party last weekend. AT the party was someone from Florida that the surprise-ee has known for something like 30 years. And readers of my blog (both of them) also kind of know this person.

Remember this post from last year? No? Blocked it out, huh? Well, the person I speak of is the inventor of that, uhm, invention. And he (his name is Floyd) will be on the TV show Shark Tank tonight!

Remember, you read about it here first; your home for dubious inventions!

Breastalyzer Test

A couple of little things, just to let people know I'm still alive.

First, there's an article about workers striking because some of their union brethren were fired for looking at Internet porn. I have two things to say about this. A) Unless you work in the porn industry you should not be looking at porn at work. B) Why on Earth are pizza makers part of the Technical, Engineering and Electrical Union?

Second is a product that, in my mind, would only be used by the most responsible of irresponsible moms. Breast alcohol test strips. That is not a typo; I did write "breast" not "breath". This is for nursing mothers who want to go out and get tanked but then they don't know how long to wait before breastfeeding their babies. With these handy strips, no more guesswork. If you're buying multiple boxes of 20's, you probably should give your baby up for adoption.

Let's Give'em A Hand

This weekend in NYC included dinner at Vatan (which is delicious but too much food for too much money, if that makes sense). If you go and can eat the whole battered/fried pepper that comes with the appetizer tray then you have my utmost respect.

After that, we moseyed on over to the Found Footage Festival which was hilarious! There are some clips on YouTube including this one.



And if you are NOT at work, the festival included parts of this one.
Did I mention this is not safe for work?
NSFW!

Update: I don't know why the embedded version of this did not work. But it is still NSFW!

Update 2: I completely forgot to include this photo of me and, uhm, yes, it is exactly what you think.

Here's The Buzz

Best Woot write-up in a while.

Sounds like Melissa’s playing electric football again. It’s great that my wife is becoming such a football fan, even if she only wants to play it by herself.

Chupabarro

Walking home today, I came to the usually dry creek. Today it was slowly flowing. I could either walk around or jump it.

It was about a 6 foot jump. I tested the landing area with a nearby stick. Solid. I can jump this, no problem.

I leap and as I do my plant foot slips, robbing me of all my forward momentum and landing me right in the middle of the f*cking creek. I pull my foot quick. Too quick for my elastic laces which can't overcome the suction of the mud. I have to reach in and pull my shoe out.

I get home and toss my socks in the garbage. They're too muddy to contemplate washing. I put the shoes outside to dry but I'm pretty sure that won't dry...in the rain.

Yackity Yack

Yesterday was a bit of a Foodapalooza. Had lunch at Max Brenner's (and if you don't bring you kids there, you a an awful parent). Their slogan is "Chocolate from the bald man!" How can things possilby go wrong.

I had the Illegal Chocolate Chocolate Chocolate Pancakes. They were very good but, quite frankly, they should put cocoa powder in the actual pancake. My friends got their kids a chocolate pizza, do-it-yourself hot chocolate and a chocolate syringe. Most of it ended up on one of their kids. All in all, a fun and tasty lunch.

Then off to a friendly get together on Long Island. There was food, drinks, a hot tub, yada, yada, yada. We ended up driving a couple of people back to Manhattan and we hadn't gotten very far when a voice from the back seat requested, "Uhm, when you can, could you pull over?"

Ruh-roh.

SCREEEEEECH!

That makes two wacky yakky weekends in NY. It's just like being back in college (except I'm not the one booting).

I Don't Have Anything For F2

Someone asked me for this not too long ago. I don't remember the source (somewhere on the web).

Fakorade

• 8.5 T. sugar
• 1/4 tsp. salt
• 1/4 tsp. Morton Lite salt
• 1 pkg. KoolAid unsweetened (any flavor but I stick with lemonade)
  
• 2 quarts water

Nutrition (per 8 oz. serving):
52 Calories
14 grams carbohydrates
120 mg sodium
44 mg potassium

Gatorade (original) has:
52 Calories
14 grams carbohydrates
110 mg sodium
30 mg potassium