If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Also, Self-Cleaning Oven

After many months/years of looking for both, I find there are many parallels between what I look for in an apartment and what I look for in a woman. Let's go to the tale of the tape:

Apartment

Woman

Post-war but not new construction

not too old or too young

high floor

tall

1 bedroom

no kids

Outdoor space

likes outdoors

Walk to Central Park

fit

Separate fridge to keep wine at optimum temperature

not too whiny

low maintenance

low maintenance

nice view

nice to view

Blinds

sees

Brazilian hardwood

Brazilian wax

Plenty of space for my junk

Not too much space for my junk

5 comments:

DeborahSmith said...

Do I want to know how self-cleaning oven applies to something you look for in a significant other? Did you ever stop and think that perhaps the idea of searching out a mate who possesses a "self-cleaning oven" is the reason you have not yet located your mate?

talljay said...

Yeah, I couldn't figure out anything to equate to "sense-of-humor".

amoose said...

I see that you edited out the most offensive comment, quite surreptitiously, in fact. Isn't this the sort of thing you would usually blog about?

amoose said...

oops, I didn't mean to say comment, I meant to say line item.

talljay said...

I usually don't read stuff after I post it. That line just didn't work plus I thought up the "blinds/sees" line so I replaced it.