You Will Not Become Rich Preventing The Camel Toe From Passing Through The Bikini

Just when I think I'm getting out...

I need a product that covers half of an ass. For example, because my company classifies the Cuchini as "adult material" I can only write a half-assed review of it, based on this Gizmodo post.

Anyway, as must be obvious, Cuchini is a combination of cooch and bikini (or maybe zucchini). My half-assed view is that it is a hard piece of leather that is inserted into a woman's...hey, don't get ahead of me here...is inserted into a woman's panties or bikini (or jeans if she's going "commando"). Kind of like a panty liner but instead of absorbing fluids, it absorbs lines/creases/crevices/cravasses (depending on a woman's age, sexual experience and whether her boyfriend is referred to as "soup can man" or not).

Unlike a panty liner, this thing does not breath (huh huh huh); it suffocates. You know the difference between the smell of feet that are in mesh sneakers versus those that are trapped in leather all day? I guess that's not an issue as anyone concerned about showing their puff daddy is probably already using some kind of nethers deodorant.

Now, attach a little motor with an offset weight and you've got yourself a product!

Hey sweetie, your phone is ringing.

Thanks to the Albaniac for this one!