They're special occasion napkins

Hey, do you have any food?

Yeah, there's some in this bag.

Oh, um, never mind. I'm not hungry.

Suit yourself. I think I'll have a Bloody Mary.

I saw what you did

For breakfast today I decided on something a little different. I'd have one box of cereal but wanted something else to go with it. I decided on a bran muffin but, not being sure of their freshness, I gave one a little squeeze with the tongs. It seemed fresh so I  took it.
Over at the cereal area, a man came up behind me and said, "I saw what you did back there." My thoughts race ahead, had he been burned by a stale muffin? "That was very nice," he continued. Was I especially slick in my muffin squeezing? "Most people don't give their cabin stewards anything."
Ah! Back there in the hall! The tip I gave the steward!
But I wanted to ask him if he saw how I tested the muffin!

Reflections on horseback riding

Isn't horseback riding a little redundant? What other parts of a horse can you ride besides its back?

EEEE shoes don't fit well in stirrups.

You want your shoes well into the stirrups when your house starts trotting.

Horses are very good at avoiding branches and cacti. They are not so good at ensuring you avoid them.

If your horse stops for no reason, it's probably pooping.

Why is it that in America cowboys ride horses but in Mexico caballeros ride caballos? Speaking of which, learn the phrase "Whoa caballo." Es muy importante!

5 sea days

What better way to relax than rereading a classic.

Just a regular guy

Two of these every morning.

Aren't you glad your Sur?

San Juan Del Sur today. This was a tender port. While sitting on the tender waiting for it to leave the ship, we were rammed by another tender. I couldn't believe we didn't ram them back. Pacifists!

Or maybe they were Sandinistas. I get them confused.

Hands of my junk

Today's plan for Costa Rica was zip lining. To combat my vertigo, I took a meclizine. To combat the drowsiness induced by the meclizine, I drank 2 ice teas.
After getting harnessed up and getting our "training" we went up to the first platform. I was chatting with the person behind me when the guide took the pulley off of the person in front of me. He swapped it with mine. Hmmm. Should this concern me?
Apparently not. No troubles. It was great. Here's a pic from the highest platform.

No ribbons?

Notice the passenger name is not filled in. Start the bidding now!

I'm so proud of this selfie

I'm as proud as a...a...a...well I don't know the saying but pretty proud!

Is this a compliment or an insult?

"You look like you understand computers." I.e. You look like a nerd.

My response: You look like you know a lot about food! (Just kidding.)

In other news, big bare breasts at the pool today. Someone should tell that guy to wear a two piece.

What do you call a bunch of lizard poop?

Iguana guano?

Was in Aruba today for a short stop. Highlights were the Iguanas and watching a plane land from the beach right next to the airport.
All kidding aside, this is probably the nicest of the Caribbean islands I've visited.

Last night was my first time

Last night, for the first time ever, I used a hair straightener or a hair iron or whatever you call those things.

For those of you thinking "but you're bald!" and then thinking "Eww!" I say, get you heads out of the gutter! I used it to iron my shirt (actual irons are not allowed on board). I think this is a rule in place since the Monitor vs. the Merrimac.

I just learned what is in a Rob Roy

The hard way!

Actually it is not a bad drink.

That wraps up today's  excitement. I spent most of the day reading and watching the water flow by.

Let's start with food

I had a nice lunch of salad, pasta Bolognese and fruit. That held me over until 5 when I had lunch #2 of half a croque something (think Monte Cristo without the jam) and some more fruit. How that gets me through to dinner!