Look At The Glass As One-Eleventh Full

This news article states that in 22 recent tests where they attempted to sneak fake bombs (or other devices) through security at Newark Airport, only 2 were caught and the others got through. Many people will harp on how much money has been spent on security with little to show for it. Many will exclaim that we need to spend more on people/equipment/training. Many will say that this is exactly why we need to vote for Republicans/Democrats (as my wise grandmother often said, they're all crooks).

If we assume that there are plenty of imbeciles ready to meet their 70+ virgins*, and if we assume they are in the country, and if we assume they can get/make explosives then why aren't planes exploding out of the sky?

So what is the TSA doing about the security at Newark? Don't they are vigorously investigating and will certainly find the problem...the person who leaked the story.


* - I've got to point out that this is the one of the stupidest religious enticements ever. To paraphrase "It's the eternity, stupid!" With a finite number of virgins, the percentage of time spent deflowering approaches zero. Alternatively, you can spend eternity with virgins by not f*cking them but that sounds like it would be hell.

You Won't Believe Your Eyes

Long ago there were $39 glasses.

Then came $29 glasses. (A friend bought from there and seems satisfied.)

Then there was the $26 glasses. Here's a funny comment from someone who bought from there: (source)

Comments: The package was unusual and shipped from Packistan [sic]. It was cloth that was sewn shut with what looked to be a wax seal. Not bad, just unusual. The case was the cheapest plastic one I have ever seen. I don't care really, just pointing it out. The cloth inside was FILTHY and that is the only thing that really annoyed me about this order. The glasses are good. I ordered glass and they are a bit heavier than my wife is used to, but they do have plastic also I just picked the top choice which is glass. The lenses seem to be thinner for the same RX. Not sure if that is glass vs. plastic or what. They replied back to my e-mails very quickly. The tracking they provide is "it is shipped". The package required a signature, so be aware of that as at least my postal guy is too lazy to come to the door and just sticks the note in the box which delays it at least a day.... But the speed and cost on this one far exceeds the small annoyance of a dirty rag.

And then came $19 glasses. Comments such as "What kind of crap can you get for $19?" and "The price os glasses is dropping faster than our stock!" were heard. But this company did not stand still, introducing $16 glasses, $13 glasses and, yes, believe it, $9 glasses. That's frames, polycarbonate lenses, UV and scratch coating! OK, OK, plus $5 shipping. And they're eligible to be paid for via pre-tax Flexible Spending Account. So, if you're in a high tax state, it's like they are paying you to buy their glasses!

I don't even think you can make glasses this cheap with slave labor. I mean, slaves need to be fed and clothed and housed. Hmmm, maybe child slave labor, they're smaller and don't eat so much...

BTW - I have no affiliation with any of these sites. I don't get any kickbacks from them or anything like that. I DO find them strangely fascinating.

What Is The Sound Of One Hand Speaking?

It's a culture clash of 1960's proportions. Earlier in a silent coup, the President was overthrown. What wasn't reported was that I. King Yoo (no relation to former President, I. King Jordan), who is not deaf, was caught drinking out of a "deafs only" water fountain. Reaction spread across the Gallaudet campus like the Wave at a football game and could be seen from hundreds of feet away. One passer-by said of the scene, "It was so loud I was nearly blinded."

Protests have been going on around the clock. Some people have complained that the visual noise has kept them awake until they shut their eyes.

Some have suggested that the Deaf need a country of their own. Instead of a name, the country could be denoted with an unpronouncable symbol. I suggest the symbol formerly used by the artist formerly known as "the artist formerly known as Prince".

Where is blind culture?
Stand up if you support wheelchair culture.
Don't like hermaphrodite culture? Go f*ck yourself!

Deaf culture? Within 50 years it'll be "Hear today, gone tomorrow."

Vee Vere Speaking Of Daisies, Ya

Since I have no funny stories I have to resort to stealing them from people I know.

Speaking of which, someone I know is currently working with one of customers in Germany. He is often part of the same lunch group as me and almost as often exclaims "Oh, here we go" when the conversation, almost inevitably, veers off the tracks of normality and into the weeds of uncertainty.

Here's how things are going for him:

I'm beginning to miss the lunch talk, never thought that would be possible. All the system test guys talk German all day long, except when they're talking to me or the Indian contractors. So at lunch they talk German and then look at me at the end of the lunch hour and then tell me what topic they were talking about the whole time. There's also a pecking order for lunch. Apparently I can't say "hey, let's go to lunch". If I do, the answer is always "not yet". I have to wait for my host to get a phone call from his manager telling him it's lunch time, and then he calls me and we all meet in the lobby. Every one has to wait in the lobby until the manager shows up for lunch, or until he calls and tells everyone they can go without him. At the end of lunch, the manager is always the first one to stand up and leave.

Or sometimes they don't call me at all. The pecking order is such that the person who has just been asked to go to lunch by his superior then has the option of asking somebody below him to join, or not.

[stolen with permission]

Can't Read What You Don't Have

Less and less, people are reading the newspaper these days. Some people say it's because newspapers are out of touch with the younger generation. Some say people don't have the time. Some say it's because of TV or all the news channels.

From a personal standpoint, I'm reading it less because it's not being delivered. I've been getting, no, wait, I was supposed to be getting the paper delivered on weekends the last 4 weeks. I've already had to call 3 times because of non-delivery. Today the CSR told me, "I'll give you a credit for the missing paper." Newsflash: If I didn't want to pay for the paper each week I wouldn't subscribe.

And if things don't change next week, you can add me to the list of people no longer reading the paper.

Update:(10/30) Coincidently, an article about this came out today.

Whole Lotto Nothing

Here are a few things I've learned over the past 30 or so years:
Many engineers are dumber than an average person.
Many doctors are dumber than an average person.
Many dentists are dumber than an average person.
Should I go on?
How about many professors/tutors are dumber than an average person.

MOST of us believe winning lotto is down to the luck of the draw.

But a syndicate of university professors and tutors in Britain thought it could also be related to the principles of mathematical probability.

Wow! What brilliant insight! Mathematical probability! I see a Nobel prize in their future.

"We just weren't winning with the numbers being picked that way, so we thought of a different method which would mean all 49 numbers would be used,' Mr Waterhouse said.

Of course! Using every number guarantees that you will always have the winning numbers. Well, unless they're on different tickets but how often can that happen? How can you lose?

"We just thought that if all the numbers are in use, we must have a good chance of winning and it has proved so[...]"

Kids Say The Darndest Things

This quote from, I'm embarrassed to say, the show Wife Swap. The 9 year-old son responded with this when told by the new mom/wife (Shannon) that he couldn't wear black clothes for the week.

If you're gonna make us wear bright clothes, oh, life is so flowers and sausages. We can wear the clothes we want to. If you're gonna make us wear light clothes, I'm gonna wear a shirt that says "F*ck off, Shannon" if I can.

I can actually imagine that a person lived on the border of Germany and the Netherlands might use that saying "life is so flowers and sausages" quite a bit, but I think these people were in California.

This is the TV show equivalent of Gibble's Potato Chips.