If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

This Article Contains 0 g Trans Fat

I don't eat potato chips very often and when I do, I like to try something new. Well, new to me, at least. A few weeks ago I bought some Gibble's. And hey, bonus, 0g trans fats!

They're actually very tasty but occasionally one tastes, I don't know, a bit off. Let's check those ingredients.

potatoes, prime processed lard, salt and TBHQ. Lard? Why on earth do they use lard? Oh, hey, they even explain that.

Do you realize that, commonly, to produce vegetable oil, seeds must be roasted, steel rolled and flooded with hexane solvent to extract the oil, which is then treated with lye, neutralized with hydrochloric acid, filtered through diatomaceous earth, and deodorized under high temperature?

Lard is a rich naturally stable fat, rendered from pork, that provides the true homestyle flavor that most people prefer. Pure energy. Simple and delicious.
Wow! Lard sounds great!

I thought I'd try my hand writing an enticing paragraph for a vegetable oil based chip.
Did you know that, commonly, to produce lard, pigs are first stunned by an electric shock to either side of their neck, then their throats are slit until they bleed to death, they are butchered and the parts considered unfit for eating are heated in giant vats that smell like the mass graves of Srebenica and the liquid that comes out is treated with tertiary butylhydroquinone?
Clearly, I have missed my calling.

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