Lose 10 Lbs. Of Ugly Weight

According to this article, the reason you are fat is because you are on a "see food" diet.

In one experiment, Wansink placed candy jars of chocolate in office workers' cubicles for a month. Then, he moved the candy six feet away. Simply having the candy closer meant the office workers ate five more candies a day.

Hmm. Why not conclude that people are just too f*cking lazy to walk the extra 6 feet to get more candy?

And that brings me to introduce my new diet plan, the Distance Diet. You can already see that this is a great diet because it has a catchy, alliterative name. Even though it is only one diet it works in two different ways. That's like buying one diet and getting the other for free! I don't see Jenny or Nutri doing that! And if the name doesn't excite you, the use of exclamations points sure will!!!

Here's the plan: Simply increase the distance between where you eat and where you store your food until you start losing weight. It's that simple!

You'll lose weight in two different ways. First, the exercise factor: you'll be burning extra calories walking all that distance to get your food! How easy is that?

"Not that easy," you say? "It's too far," you say? Well, that's the secret, built-in secondary diet. The food will be so far away that you'll be too lazy to go get it! Instead you'll substitute something like smoking to get you through the day.

Once you get down to your ideal weight, you can use my Cessation Sensation plan to quit smoking!