If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Subterranean Excommunication Blues

I'm sure you've heard about the Jena 6 but have you heard about the Little Rock 6? Talk about injustice! Where are Bob Dylan and Joan Baez when you need them?

Sister Mary Theresa, Sister Maria Theresa, Sister Theresa Maria and three other sisters, none of whom are true sistas, were excommunicated from the Catholic Church. Not surprisingly, at 82 years of age, Sister Mary doesn't really give a crap.

So why is the Catholic Church giving these little old ladies a curb job*? Because they believe in Mary! Jesus Christ, isn't that part of church doctrine?

Yes, of course it is. If a statue cries blood or a sprinkler causes a rainbow on your window or if your grilled cheese looks funny, that's the real Mary but if someone claims to be the reincarnation of Mary, whoa Nellie, that's excommunication.

Aside for Bob Dylan. Here's a start for your new protest song:
What in tarnation
has caused this sensation?

You can make up the rest. Just run it by me when you're done. Thanks!
Since these old ladies were "deluded" to think they may be talking to Mary, they had to go. That includes removing
"the Eucharist -- which Catholics revere as the body of Christ -- from the monastery"
because you sure don't want any crazy people eatin' Jesus!

On top of that, a spokesman for the group associated with Sister Mary Reincarnatia says that she does not claim to be the reincarnation of Mary at all. She just "receives graces" from the Virgin Mary and God. I'm a little suspicious because my understanding is that you either have grace or you don't. You can't have a little grace and you can't acquire grace. The spokesman added:
"The Virgin Mary took possession of her soul. I would rather say it that way."
Because that sounds much saner.

* - Look up "curb job" in the might-not-be-work-safe Urban Dictionary.

1 comment:

Wolfger said...

Here's your Dylan song: