I'd Feel More Comfortable If The Gift Horse Had No Teeth

In a recent bout of cleaning I came across (maybe I should say "happened across") a coupon for "one bl*wjob, no strings attached". There is no expiration date but I have no interest in using it due to "chomp anxiety". I did try using it with a recent date but she said she didn't accept competitor's coupons. :-(

If anybody wants it, let me know. IANAL but it seems like an enforceable contract to me. The coupon has no cash value (wouldn't that be prostitution?).