If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Wenn einer eine Reise macht, so kahn er 'was erzahlen.

My German phrase book tells me how to say "My room is too cold" or "There is no heat". Oh, how I wish I needed to use those phrases.

The person on duty did not understand when I said it was too hot. Finally this:

Me: It's like an oven in there!
Her: (blank stare)
Me: Oven!
Her: (confused)
Me: Like Auschwitz! [I turned and pointed to my nose.]
Her: (aghast)

I wake in a pool of sweat. It is only midnight. The blanket is tiny but thick and covered in a duvet. I remove the blanket and just use the duvet. Still too hot. I open the window. No help. Oh, what I wouldn't give to be in a Motel 6 in the good ole US. With a giant air conditioner right in your room. The kind that causes global warming, requiring enough energy to melt 10 cubic yards of the polar icecap to lower your room temperature 1 degree. The kind that uses so much energy it warps space and time when it turns on. The kind so loud it would drown out the sounds of jets taking off right outside my now open window.

My plan for tomorrow is to take all the beer from the mini-bar, wrap it in a towel and sleep with it...placing it back in the morning. Is it dangerous to sleep in a bathtub filled with water?


Zimbo said...

Mein Zimmer ist zu heiƟ...

Though I don't really know hot to pronouce that "beta" character...

Very apropos, though... Dontcha think???

Yer killin' me from half a world away...

Anonymous said...

So you're sayin' your rooms a little warm???


talljay said...

Zimbo - Danke. I be hair all da veek.
The "beta" is pronounced like the "ss" in "miss". Don't ask me why they need it.

Z - Yah. Das is wahr (true).