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Monday, September 26, 2005

Bush Addressing Low Approval Ratings

Princeton, NJ - With President Bush's approval ratings slipping to all time lows, the White House has announced a two part plan to get Bush's numbers "back in the black"

Part one deals with a massive publicity campaign with Bush giving motivational speeches.
"People need to believe in their President, uh, specially [sic] in times that, uh, test their beliefs and their wallets" said Bush in another unintelligible sentence. He also added, "[To address the gas shortages, people, ] if they're able to maybe not drive on a trip that's not essential, that would be helpful." Republicans immediately pointed the "strong leadship" of such a statement.

Part two, the White House, in an unprecedented move, is buying the Gallup Organization. Press Secretary Scott McClellan decried the current "liberal bias" in the polling business, noting that "The Gallup Organization is located in one of the most towns [Princeton] in one of the most liberal states [New Jersey] in the nation...if not the world." Asked whether that meant that they would be moving the Gallup headquarters, he responded "We are looking for a more central and politically neutral location, such as Oglesby, Texas."

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jay,

Stop misquoting the president. I saw the speach what he said was "The people have to have faith...beleive in...look the people has to beleive in the president. Specially [sic] in times that, uh times that test the beleifs and their wallets. That's why, as leaders we need to lead and the best way to do that is to make my tax cuts uh all of my tax cuts permenant.

mess

talljay said...

mess - Your quote sounds much more presidential. I just checked my wire sources and found that they are "fairly balanced" as opposed to what I thought it said. I am planning to sue them for the hot coffee I just spilled on myself...and I don't even drink coffee!