The Hole In My Ass

Yeah. That's my ass. Try not to stare.

This is the third pair of jeans I've worn out on the left ass cheek. My bony ass is apparently non-symmetric or I favor my right cheek. Which cheek is your favorite? This is somewhat related to my recent NYC Marathon blog post about keeping my weight up. Obviously the problem has expanded while my ass has not.

Not long ago I was mostly only eating one nut but now I have cashews, almonds and peanuts (yes, they're legumes, I know) in the house. So, I am working on increasing my ass cushioning.

But the larger problem is that these jeans are at their most comfortable right now. And the hole certainly was not there (or at least not this big) this morning so it is growing rapidly. I tried with a previous pair of jeans to patch them with one of those iron-on patches but that ripped after two wearings. You would think that someone would want to make a product that would keep my ass in my pants, right?

Ideally, I'd keep one of these holey pair of pants and use it for patches on the next holey pair but that would require a sewing machine which I don't have access too.