This Writer's Strike Is Making Me Thirsty!

In today's news, The Daily Show still sucks and I'm taking it off my TiVo.

I've joined the Blog Writers And Hackers, Hagglers And Haberdashers of America! (BWAHAHA!) because I am so underpaid. I can't even get people to pay me compliments! Maybe it's the clientèle I attract with such search phases as [all these are actual search phrases]:

• schnitzengruben
• milk that d*ck
• milk from an*s
• vibrator doesn't fit what do i do

How much worse can things get if I write about How Monkeys Pay For Sex?

The paper draws no conclusions about what these observations in monkeys mean for the human world. In fact, whether and how scientists should extrapolate from primate behavior is a fairly "big debate," says Gumert.

I guess the major media outlets have to decide between this story and the primaries. Election or erection? Clearly, the editors don't know which the American public is more interested in.

Unless you mistake the candidates for erections, which isn't hard to do.