If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Can I Fondle Your Subcinctorium?

Jews who are barely religious fast every year for Yom Kippur. No food, no water, no nothing from sunset of one day until sunset the next day. Muslims fast for a whole month during Ramadan. No food, water, smoking or sex from sunrise to sunset of each day. And, of course, there are several other religions that fast for various reasons.

Often the reason is some kind of generic penitence. Maybe you sold a carton of milk after its expiration date. Or maybe you looked at some Internet p*rn. Or maybe you're a lawyer. Whatever your sin, throw it in the Hopper of Redemption and you're all clear.

So, it should not be surprising that a preacher in the Vatican has called for "worldwide day of fasting" to "publicly express sorrow before God and solidarity with the victims."

I have a feeling that most of the abuse victims probably don't think that quite cuts it. A few might say it's a good idea until they found out you said "fasting" not "fisting". Ah well, they can dream, can't they?

Fortunately for those that remain in the Catholic Church, supporting pedophiles and their accomplices and acting as enablers by handing over their money, the new Pope is taking the hard line on this sort of behavior.

Last May, he disciplined the elderly Mexican founder of a Roman Catholic religious group who had been accused of sexual abuse, ordering him to retire to a life of "prayer and penitence."
Ooooh, snap!


cluefairy said...

So let me get this straight. They're even asking the victims to fast for forgiveness. Haven't they suffered enough? To ask them to go hungry for a day after all that they've been through, puhleaze. Course, I'm rarely forgiving and not religious so maybe I'm missing something here.

talljay said...

cf - God forgives all.

Except those who are following the wrong religion. Those people go to hell to burn for eternity.

Anonymous said...

What happens if you belong to the right religion but blow off all of the principles? Do you still get forgiven?

I'm thinking of Ted Haggard, Folley, Bernie Ebbers, Tom Delay... I have to stop or I'll get that tunnel thing in your hands from typing too much.

Anonymous said...

Soory - That last comment was me


talljay said...

mess - That would depend on the religion so, of course, the wisest choice would be to follow one that ignores or even rewards horrible behavior.

Also, if you had just shortened that last sentence to "I'm thinking of Ted Haggard, Folley, Bernie Ebbers, Tom Delay... I have to stop or I'll get that tunnel thing in your hands" that would have been the funniest comment ever.