If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Monday, July 30, 2007

It's The Euphemisms, Stupid

If the press covered my daily home life, yesterday's headline would have been:

Jay Sets Nuts On Fire, Burns Date

Incredibly, I had my pants on the entire time.

What happened was, I was making some cookies. These cookies contained everything that was in my pantry that could conceivably go into a cookie that had not been eaten by my new roommates (more on them later): oatmeal, chocolate chips, walnuts and dates. I didn't have a recipe for a cookie with that much of my junk in them so I just wang it. Wait, I think I meant "winged it".

Once I got my junk out of the mixing bowl, the hardest part was at hand: how long do I keep my cookies in the oven for things to come out right? Since my cookies are big, I figured on around 16 minutes.

After 8 minutes, my stuff was looking good. I set the timer for another 8 minutes. Quite a while later, I checked the timer, which read 7:59 (whoops!). I went immediately to pull my cookies from the over but I had come to late. My nuts were already burned.

As for my new roommates, who apparently enjoy nibbling on my silicon bakeware, I'm sending you on an all-expenses-paid trip to mouse heaven.

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