If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Just Give'em All Ruby Slippers So They Can Leave Whenever They Want

FEMA plans to get tough with the next hurricane. According to secret documents obtained from sources deep in FEMA headquarters in Mianus, their plans are to call out the hurricane and shame it into oblivion using this script:

"Put 'em up, put 'em up! Which one of you first? I can fight you both together if you want. I can fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I can fight you standing on one foot. I can fight you with my eyes closed. Oh, pull an axe on me, eh? Sneaking up on me, eh? Why, I'll..."
Actually, after the debacle of using the Superdome as a "shelter of last resort" the new plan is
"There will be no shelters of last resort."
And I know this is going to sound harsh, but after I read that
"the government is looking into freeing up rail service, aircraft and buses to help evacuate residents who do not have their own transportation"
I couldn't help but think that maybe these people should be looking to live somewhere else. Some place that is less likely to require evacuation? Maybe?

If I was Al-Qaeda, I'd be praying to Allah that they rebuild New Orleans. Then I'd send a couple of bombers to take out those levees (assuming there isn't some even easier way of accomplishing that, like driving a bull dozer into them).

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