Please Don't Pee On My Glasses

Yes, it's yet another bathroom story.

I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth (more on that in a second) and I see, in the bathroom mirror, one, then another, guy walk by. Since I don't hear stalls closing, I assume they're at the urinals (of which there are two). If you're trying to form a mental picture (and I hope you are not), the bathroom layout has the sinks and urinals on the same wall, with a partition between them. A few seconds later, a third guy walks by. Apparently heading to a urinal, he stops when he sees they are occupied, then looks at the sink (where I am) then at the garbage can. The look he had on his face told me everything. He was eyeing potential backups! Had I not been there that guy might have actually peed in the sink. That's the look he had on his face. He started doing a little circular pacing waiting for an opening.

Back to my teeth. The only reason I'm brushing at work is that I have an afternoon dental appointment. It's a warm day today so I didn't wear a jacket. That means I've got no place to keep my sunglasses (and still remember them when I leave) except on a lanyard around my neck. I bend down to spit. As I do, my glasses go swinging forward, perfectly timed for me to cover them with an effluent of toothpaste, saliva and maybe a remnant or two from lunch at Wendy's. Grrr. I rinse them off and grab the floss.

After flossing, I need to spit again and, you guessed it, suddenly I need to clean my glasses again. Now that's just plain stupid.