If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

A Crowning Achievment

It's been a while since I had a good post about the restroom (some might say I've never had a good post about the restroom but they're just critics). So, on to the john.

As I've previously described, the closest bathroom to my cube contains two urinals and two stalls (one tiny, one expansive). It was a few weeks ago that, sitting in the big stall, I noticed someone walked into the tiny stall, did a kind of pirouette, then left without, umm, using the facilities. I thought that was a bit strange.

Last week I went into the bathroom to find the big stall taken. Usually, I'd either return later or use a bathroom further away but that day things were a bit urgent so I decided to just suck it up (so-to-speak) and use the tiny stall. I found the reason for the pirouette. The lock did not work. I puckered down the hall to the other bathroom.

That brings us to today. I'm leisurely riding high on the big throne in the big stall when someone came in and walked into the tiny stall. They tried several times to get the latch to work. I waited for the pirouette but was surprised when they dropped trow and sat down. I could tell by the floor shadow that their door was ajar.

Someone else came in to use a urinal. "Squeeeeeak" went the door as the guy slowly pushed it closed. His arms weren't quite long enough though. He couldn't keep it pinned. Squeak. Squeak. Squeak. I started laughing that closed-mouth, snorty, quiet kind of laugh. Squeak. Squeak.

I told myself it wasn't funny.

Squeak. Squeak. Then, resignation. The door was ajar again. I couldn't take it anymore.

It's not often you leave a bathroom because you think you're going to explode.

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