If you're looking for the funniest stuff, I suggest starting with the Steve, Don't Eat It Homage and then the travel category. You're on your own with the older posts that have yet to be categorized.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Stupidity Makes Me Want To Throw Up

It's all a big scam. X-ray your shoes, no liquids, and we put up with it. Why? Because we're morons. Morons shoes being X-ray'ed by moron X-ray operators. And it's all BS.

In order to meet all those brilliant new rules I checked everything except my laptop and camera. Unfortunately, that included my meclizine and I was forced to get Dramamine from the airport store. I was a bit amazed that they don't totally rape you on the price, $2.29 for four "chewable" tablets. Normally, Dramamine is about $5 for 12 pills, I think. Worse is that Dramamine sucks and they're about as chewable as aspirin (not baby aspirin either). Dramamine only works for 4-6 hours.

Luckily it was a smooth flight so the Dramamine went untested. On the flight I had a aisle seat in the middle section (a 2-4-2 seating arrangement) with only one other person in the row. They moved to the next row up and I immediately peed on all four seats to mark my territory. After we were in the air, I put up all the armrests and laid across all four seats (still not enough space to straighten my legs but not bad). I felt it only fair to not lean any of the seats back to impinge on the people behind me. I dozed on/off for about 5 hours.

I woke, blurry eyed, realizing I had packed my contacts and glasses. I had only a 2 oz. bottle of saline and I used about half cleaning the gunk from my eyes. I figured I fix things after we got to Frankfurt to change planes.

Well, Germany, unlike the US, has figured out that I don't need to carry my checked bags through customs. I would not be getting my bags for another 3 hours, after we were in Dusseldorf.

Finally, at the hotel, I was unpacking and couldn't find my glasses. I checked the usual places, inside my toiletry bag, inside my shoes, nothing. I finally found them, in my computer bag, which had been with me the whole time. Just like I said; we're all morons.

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