Wait'll We Get Our Hanes On You

Didn't I just say that might be last post for a while? Then here's a somewhat ironic post.

Last Friday Sara Lee (the cake people) spun off Hanesbrands (the underwear people). There was much celebrating.

Hanesbrands Inc.'s top executives and headquarters employees held a kind of corporate pep rally -- their second of the week -- Friday morning at the company's Winston-Salem headquarters. [...] [The Executive Chairman and CEO both] praised the work of employees and told them their efforts to strengthen the company's brands, optimize its supply chain and be innovative would be key to the company's success in the future.

Yesterday, Hanesbrands announced the closing of 3 factories and 2200 layoffs.

Unannounced was that the laid-off employees would have to exit the buildings through a 4 foot tall door. As employees leave, they will receive a Mini Dickmann, inserted directly into their rectum as symbol of top managements' regard for them.

Those nearing retirement age will receive the larger, Super Dickmann.